How unusual was I? I used to sew yellow fur to my jeans and wear black lipstick... in the 4th grade we were made to walk the track every day and sand would get into my combat boots (yes in the 4th grade I rocked the alternative 90s chic) so I would dump the sand from the boots into my desk. Then it started collecting and the teacher screamed at me for having sand in there and asked why in the world it was there and my reply was "To keep my pennies clean." Which was not the truth at all and it worried the entire class but the truth seemed so boring.
No being odd never bothered me my kids being odd does not bother me... other people pointing out exactly how odd they are THAT bothers me. Cody my middle son is going through his pre-goth phase, pre as in preschool goth. Cody loves skeletons, his favorite movie is "Tim Burton's The Nightmare before Christmas" or "Beetlejuice" he sleeps with a stuffed Jack Skellington. Most of his clothes have skulls on them, because well, I like skulls and after three boys you just get so sick of dinosaurs, and cars. Cody also has some emotional issues, he has what is classified as "sensory perception disorder". Most of the time he is like most other children but he gets upset quicker and is easily overwhelmed. He goes to a special pre-school where the teachers are trained to deal with children like him, and he receives twice therapy sessions for speech and occupational. Sometimes when Cody is upset he will say things like "I hate you! I hate this!" or "I so really can't do this any more!" some times he says " I am evil! I am no good!" No one has ever said this to him, he is loved and is told how wonderful and sweet and smart he is on a daily basis but yet he still says things like that. The other day he said "I just so really need a cigarette." I do not smoke, my husband does not smoke... no one smokes around him.. smoking is so taboo this day in age it s like against the law to show people smoking on TV, unlike when I was little and cartoon characters smoked. The comment disturbed me greatly. I racked my brain for some instance where he would have heard this phrase and could up with only one solution, school.
I kept meaning to bring the subject up with one of his teachers at school but the chance never presented itself. Between his teary goodbyes and me rushing off to work there just was no good opportunity. Then about three days after the incident one of his teachers happened to stop in my place of business.Now rationally I know accosting your sons teacher about cigarettes while she is trying to pick up her prescriptions is not the best idea but like word vomit the question bubbled out. She assured me that no one in the classroom smoked and that no one would ever say that to him, she even suggested some other child may be the culprit as some of them smelled of cigarette smoke.
But then she kept talking about how "odd" he is about how he calls himself "evil" and how he draws little skeleton figures on everything and she had to shudder for this one SHUDDER wears skeletons on almost all his clothes. Ok I will give her that a four year old that proclaims himself to be evil is odd but the skeletons on the clothes is all me! I never thought that my child would be judged for some of my personal preferences. Was I forcing my sweet child to be a pre-goth? But skeletons are on tons of boys clothing, go to any target you Will find at least three non-Halloween themed boys shirts with skulls on them. The back of my mini-van has a little skull and crossbones family. I always said I did not want to be like all the other mothers but was that hurting my children?
Fantastic writing! Just because he has his own preferences does not make him "weird" are we not all different in some ways? He is so smart and loving and definitly wonderful! Very good blog!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
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