This was not a typical morning, most morning even if I manage to lay out there clothes beforehand, Colton will stand in his underwear flapping his clothes above his head and staring blankly at Good Morning America until you snap your fingers under his nose and remind him that unless he is trying out to be in the school production of "The Emperors New Clothes" he really ought to get dressed. Cody is not, and I can not stress this enough NOT a morning person. Until very recently he would lay on his bed and cry every morning purely because he hates waking up. You would have to tiptoe to his room and wave a waffle at him and try to lure him out. Even them half the morning would be spent curled up on a kitchen chair complaining about being awake.
Mornings are rough for most people, the transition from sleep to wakefulness is hard for even people who label themselves "a morning person" (which is a lie no one actually likes mornings). I have to not only get myself awake and presentable but also three small human beings. That is he hardest part of having three five and under they are largely dependent on you for most things.
Most mornings I do not eat breakfast after preparing three breakfast finding three outfits that are clean and in good repair there is barely time to get them dressed and out of the door. Another challenge with our mornings is that Two of my three are in school and two different schools at that. Colton's elementary school is about five minutes down the road from us, he is to be dropped of between 7:45 and 8:00 each morning. Cody's school is about twenty minutes away from us and he can not be dropped off until exactly 8:30. Even drop Colton off at 8:00 and head to Cody's school we are still about ten minutes to early to go in the door and have to loiter in the parking lot until the school will allow his presence. So most mornings I have to get Colton ready, leave, drop him off, go back to the house, get Cody ready, loiter then leave the house and drop him off. This system works for the most part but some mornings it goes horribly wrong. Here are some examples of mornings gone bad.
1.) Running very late after I forgot to set the alarm I shoved the first two shoes I could find on Coltons feet. (Mind you Cody and Colton have only one size different and they look exactly alike because they were on sale and only had one style and color in stock). I took Colton to school and headed back to get Cody ready and off the school,. That is when I realized Cody was wearing two lefties one size 1 one size 13 which means Colton was at school wearing two righties one size 1 one size 13. I had to go back to Coltons school and explain to both the school secretary and his teacher the situation. If only they had been at least a right and a left I could have let it go but now everyone knows my shame.
2.) After working eight days in a row the laundry had gone largely unnoticed, normally I like to send my kids off to school in style because no one likes a ratty dressed kid. Alas there was nothing clean except for some character sweatpants whose matching character t-shirt had long ago been lost, and a fishing shirt whose hue no where near matched the pants. At least I think lime green and royal blue Sponge bob pants are not complementary.
3.) At the beginning of the school year I purchased an innumerable number of character socks from Target when they were only .25 a pair. There are four pairs remaining none of them match. So everyday They trudge off to school in one Perry the Platypus and and one guitar sock.
4.) I this is technically after the getting ready moring stage but I will include it because it is funny. I have an audio book addiction. Most of the music nowadays I do not think is suitable for young ears, and I think listening to a book just as productive as reading one. Plus I spend a lot of time in the car and am often able to finish an audio book quicker than reading a book because my free time is nonexistent. I was listening to the audio version of Outlander by Diana Gablanon. The description sound pretty tame, 1940s nurse transported to 1700s Scotland, I thought the kids might at least not fall asleep during it. Most of the book had thus far been pretty innocuous just an English lady traipsing about learning local histories and such. I thought it safe to keep it on has a dropped Colton off at his school. The way the drop system works is you drive around to the long carport and then either a teacher of more common a trustworthy fifth grader opens your car door for your kid to get out. On this particular morning a teacher opened the door just has the lady in the book was discovering what is under Scottish kilts which ,is apparently... nothing. She looked at me like "What in the world?' and I had to look back like "What you don't listen to Historical romance in the car with your kids?"
Cody asleep again after first attempt at waking failed A more productive morning
This is but a small portion of my wonderful misadventures in mothering. I hope to share even more. Also I hope I have more mornig' s like this one where every one just has it together. But something tells me I will have more mornings that lead to a great story.
